Becoming the Official Husband and Wife
After being proposed or successfully proposed to your significant half, it is time to change your status from single to married. But how to do this in a legal way? Registration of Marriage (also known as ROM) is the answer to it.
In this article, I will explain in steps by steps on how did we prepare for our ROM. After your ROM is done, you can finally change your Facebook status from single to married. Yay!
Choose a Date for Registration of Marriage
Usually, a couple will plan their ROM earlier than their wedding day. But it is fine too if you want to plan it after the big day. It totally depends on your preference.
Decided by Feng Shui Master
As a Chinese, you will get this when I say the feng shui master plays an important role in offering you auspicious wedding dates (aka 算日子 for you). When my mom knew that my proposal is a success, she immediately finds the nearest well-known master to check for the available dates.
For us, we paid a total of RM200 to the feng shui master for a package including:
- Wedding dates, calculated with the couple’s ba zi (八字), birth dates and parents’ birth date.
- A favorable date for Registration of Marriage
- Auspicious date and time for betrothal ceremony (过大礼)
- Auspicious date and time for the setting of the bridal bed (安床)
- Favorable time for entering the groom’s parents’ house (迎亲)
Of course, finding a feng shui master for auspicious ROM date isn’t a must for everyone. Most of my friends only obtain auspicious date and time for the wedding day, betrothal ceremony and bridal bed setup. In other words, you can decide your own ROM date. Be sure to check with your parents first as some of them follow the tradition tightly.
Decided by Your Own
If you get to choose your ROM date by yourself, then consider choosing a date that is memorable (such as 10/10/2020 or 12/12/2020, both days are Saturday!) or on the same day with your anniversary or birthday.
Please take note that your ROM date should be at least 21 days later and within 6 months from the application date. 21 days are needed for the notice of marriage and upon solemnization is completed, you have 6 months time to register your marriage. I’ll explain more about the notice of marriage in the “Preparation for ROM” section.
Choose a Venue for Registration of Marriage
There are a few places to organize a ROM event:
- JPN Office
- Temple / Church
- Hotel / Garden
We chose to have our ROM at the temple as it is very near to our house compared to the JPN Office. Besides that, most of my friends had their ROM at a temple or church. Hence, we will be sharing more on having ROM at a temple in this article.
To secure our ROM date at the temple, we visit the temple and ask their representative for the availability of the date. If the date is available, then you can immediately book the date with them.
When choosing a place for ROM, one of you must be the residents of the state. For example, I can have our ROM in Melaka because my IC address is from Melaka while my wife is from Penang. You cannot have your ROM in a state where both of you are not the resident of that state.
Acquire JPN.KC02 Form
After you secure your ROM date with the temple representative, he or she will pass you the JPN.KC02 form (The online form is just a reference). If you don’t get the form from them, then you may need to visit the nearest JPN (Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara) to obtain the form.
Solemnization with JPN Registrar
A marriage registrar officer from JPN (Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara) will review your application (JPN.KC02) form and process your application with an approval stamp.
Both person signatures are required in the process, hence both of you should visit the JPN office together. Witnesses are not needed during the solemnization with the registrar.
These are the documents that you need to prepare along with this form.
- Original and (1) photocopy of Birth Certificate for both parties
- Original and (1) photocopy of National IC for both parties
- (1) blue background passport-size (32mm x 38mm) photo of both parties
- (1) photocopy of National IC for each of two witnesses (证婚人)
You may refer to this article for more info on supporting documents.
After both of you fill the required details, a registration fee of around RM20 is needed to complete the application. That’s all for the solemnization with the JPN marriage registrar.
Preparation for Registration of Marriage
After done with solemnization, submit the JPN.KC02 form back to the temple representative. They will usually give you a small checklist of items to be prepared and the dress code for your ROM day.
There will be another fee for hosting your ROM at the temple. The fee is usually used for temple maintenance and activities. I paid RM150 for the temple I had our ROM in Melaka, while my other friends only paid RM100 in another temple. So the price will vary on different temples. Please prepare at least RM250 for this.
Notice of Marriage
A marriage notice will be posted on a notice board in the temple for 21 days. A ROM can only be completed upon the expiration of the marriage notice without any objection from the public. (Not sure if the objection works though)
A Hand Bouquet
A ROM will not feel like a ROM without a beautiful hand bouquet. Though I should let you know that its price is usually not wallet-friendly. A 15-flowers hand bouquet (as shown above) can cost us a whopping RM170, and they can only last for a week. 😅
If both of you agree to save that money, you can go for a fake hand bouquet with less than half the price of it. Moreover, it can be reused on your wedding day as well. Double savings! Yeah!
Please forgive me for teaching you such cheapskate stuff, as that is what a finance blogger does! 😉
Don’t forget to bring along your wedding bands too! That’s one of the important items in ROM preparation.
Unlike an engagement ring, both of you should be wearing that wedding ring all the time after ROM. So it is crucial to choose rings that are durable for long term wearing, other than choosing for the design and appearance.
If you are looking for a yellow gold ring, choose 22K gold instead of 24K gold. Not only they are more durable than 24K gold, but they are also cheaper and have no difference in appearance. For more details about yellow gold, you can check out my previous series.
Parents’ consent from both sides is usually needed in ROM. So please remember to bring your parents during your ROM. If you don’t have parents, you still need at least one person who is closest to you as a witness for your big day as it is required in the process.
Other people are not a must during ROM day but we did invite our siblings and some close friends to join the happy moment too. The more the merrier! 😆
Enjoy Your ROM Ceremony!
The ROM will only take a few minutes, at least 15 minutes and at most 1 hour if you have a lot of guests. So you will have a lot of time to take some precious pictures. This ceremony is just once in a lifetime, so go ahead and captures more photos of your special moments.
I have one special encounter during my ROM, which guys should take note. The temple representative caught me off guard when he suddenly tells me to kneel down and say something to my wife. This scene was not told in prior and you will be so awkward if you are not someone who can spontaneously give a speech.
So guys, please prepare a short and simple speech that you will say to your wife during the ceremony. This is to help you from being caught in an awkward scene in case you face something like this. You can thanks me later.
Achievement Unlocked: A Marriage Certificate
After you have completed your ROM, both of you will be granted each with an official marriage certificate. From now on, both of you are officially husband and wife, in the name of Law! A big congratulation to you!
Erm, so, what’s next?
In the next series, we will be talking about the pre-wedding shooting. I will be explaining what a pre-wedding shooting package usually has and where can you save your money. Please stay tuned!
The list below shows all chapters for “Malaysian Chinese Wedding Planning” series: